


M O R P H I N E

by kyballs



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, Self Harm, Serial Killer, chef!haru, child killer, cop!Rin, cop!Sousuke, implied rinharu, surgeon!makoto, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-27 23:46:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18200615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyballs/pseuds/kyballs
Summary: Tachibana Makoto is a trauma surgeon who cant handle losing someone on his table. His methods of coping are put to a halt when he gets discovered by Yamazaki Sousuke a cop who happens to be assigned the case thats causing Makoto so much pain.a reworked version of Morphine





	M O R P H I N E

**Author's Note:**

> I reread my stories often, and when i reread Morphine I couldn’t help but cring at the earlier chapters written by 14 year old me. If you have already read the original Morphine story, this one varies quite a lot. I think my pacing, syntax, and grammar have all improved a lot and my ability to write a decently sized chapter has as well. look forward to some lemon in the future too (;

Makoto drove through the streets of Iwatobi at 1 in the morning, tears blurring his vision. He had lost a little boy on his table today. Another one.

A few weeks ago a different little boy was on his table, barely hanging on for life, and he lost him too. There had been a few boys before them that hadn’t even made it onto his table, gone before an ambulance even arrived. It broke his heart knowing that this was happening, knowing that someone was targeting little boys in this way.

There was a serial killer in Iwatobi, and he couldn’t even save one of the boys to be able to help the investigation, let alone just save them.

Telling their families that their child was gone was something he didn’t wish upon anyone, he wondered why being a trauma surgeon ever appealed to him in the first place, knowing that this was part of the job. It always hurt him to lose someone, god did it hurt.

He had finally arrived at his apartment that he shared with Haru, normally he would have gotten all of his sorrows out in the car before walking in, trying not to wake or bother his roommate. However, knowing Haru was away in Australia with Rin for 2 more days, he wasted no time getting to the door.

He walked up, trying to unlock the door with a shaky hand while hot tears rolled down his cheeks. Once he got the door open, he threw his keys on the ground with a strangled cry and kicked the coffee table next to the door with enough force to knock over the lamp that had been sitting on it. He tried in vain to wipe the tears from his eyes and wrestled himself out of his jacket, throwing it onto the floor before his legs moved on their own towards the bathroom.

He wrung his sleeves up to his elbows after sitting down on the tile floor, he tried to calm himself down before digging through the cabinet for the tiny paper envelope. He pulled at his hair, trying to quiet down before one of his neighbors called the cops on him. 

“Where is it? Where is it?” he mumbled to himself frantically. He finally pulled out the envelope and opened it, looking at his forearm.

When he was younger, he had been running through an alley trying to get home in time for dinner. His foot had hit a less solid piece of ground, and he fell, cutting his arm open badly on a sharp rock. He arrived home, bleeding everywhere and his mom had to take him to the hospital to get stitches. The experience left a pretty big scar in its wake.

It had been a while since he last looked at it, healing nicely since the last time he had done this. 

Everytime he lost someone, the pain became so unbearable that he needed to feel some other kind of pain. He had only ever cut along existing scars, not wanting anyone to worry about him.

He pulled a clean razor blade out of the envelope, staring at it for a few seconds before pressing it to his arm. The cool metal felt nice against his overheated skin so he applied pressure to the blade before dragging it across his arm. He sobbed as blood began to trail down to his fingers, wishing that all of the other pain in his life would just go away.

He dug into his skin again, against a different scar that he had gotten from less than wisely hopping a fence with Haru when they were teens, sighing finally as more blood dripped onto his scrubs.

* * *

Sousuke had gotten off of the phone with Rin a few hours ago, the bastard had a habit of taking his things and leaving them at Nanase’s apartment. He had spent the last couple hours of his days off trying to find where his jacket was, turns out Rin had worn it over to Nanase’s house and left it there, with his badge in the pocket.

He had needed it for work tomorrow so he called Rin to find out where it was, momentarily pushed his rage aside that his jacket was ‘borrowed’ without even asking him for permission first, to ask when Nanase’s roommate would be home so he could pick it up.

Around 1:30am, he got to Nanase and Tachibana’s apartment to get his badge and jacket. He was pissed that he had to sacrifice his own sleep schedule just because Rin was a jackass.

His anger subsided, giving way to alert when he arrived at the door, finding it to be left open. He pulled the gun he kept in his sock out, worried that something was happening to Tachibana. None of the lights were on inside but he could see Tachibana’s keys and jacket lying haphazardly on the floor and a fallen lamp. It looked like a struggle had happened, he knew Tachibana wasn’t someone who would do this to his own home for no reason.

He searched the room for any sign of an intruder before moving further inside. He tensed upon hearing a whimpering sound coming from where he remembered as the bathroom, so he moved towards it, gun ready in his hands.

He was going to die in his place if he found out Tachibana was just having some kind of wild hook up that caused the mess throughout the entire house and he walked in on it. However he readied himself as he pushed open the bathroom door.

He nearly dropped his gun at the sight he was greeted with.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Makoto froze at the voice. It wasn’t Haru’s but, he knew who it belonged to, Rin’s devilishly handsome partner from work and best friend since forever. He tried to hide his arms before responding but, the damage was done.

“Yamazaki, I-” he tried to start while the other man was ripping out a wet paper towel and holding it to compress his arm.

Sousuke couldn’t believe what he had just seen, the image already burned into his mind. Tachibana wasn’t about to make any believable excuses to what he was doing, he had already seen the razor blade that was quickly tossed to the floor as Tachibana tried to cover his bloody arm. He couldn’t believe the other man was doing himself. Not that he couldn’t understand that people do things like this sometimes but, Tachibana had never presented any kind of signs that he was harming himself. 

He was upset and angry that no one had known about this, even himself.

“Why are you doing this to yourself Tachibana?” Yamazaki asked dejectedly, Makoto could have sworn he saw a glint of a tear in his eyes. “Are you trying to kill yourself?”

Makoto was shocked, he had never thought of it that way, he was just trying to ease his pain, he blurted that out as his response excluding the latter half of the statement.

“It always ends up like that, whether you mean to or not.” Makoto couldn’t do anything but stare at Yamazaki after that. “You need to stop doing this.”

“But..” he didn’t know why he was trying to argue when Yamazaki was only seeming to care about his well being.

“I won’t say anything if you just stop. I won’t tell Nanase. You just have to stop, please, come to me if something’s wrong. We can talk about it.” Sousuke pleaded to the other man, still compressing the now bloody paper towel on his arm.

“Yamazaki, I can’t… Anytime I lose someone on the table, it just hurts so much, I can’t handle all of the stress and sadness that floods in.” Makoto admitted, now crying almost as hard as when he entered the bathroom. 

“Just come to me, call me, talk to me. I know what it’s like to see someone go right in front of me, I know what you’re dealing with. Please, just talk to me or I will tell Nanase about this.” he continued to beg.

“Okay.” Makoto finally responded, “Okay, just please don’t tell anyone about this. Please.”

“As long as you promise me you won’t do it.” the hard look in his eyes told Makoto that he was dead serious about this.

“I promise, I promise you Yamazaki.”

“Call me Sousuke from now on.” this took Makoto by surprise, he didn’t really much about Sousuke at all but he was suddenly asking him to call him by his given name. He wasn’t sure how he found it in himself to blush in this situation, but he somehow managed to.

“Only if you call me Makoto.” he felt a little bit flustered looking at the grin Sousuke gave him.

“You need to go to bed, Makoto, you’re probably exhausted.” he was right, Makoto had a grudgingly long day. “I’m going to stay here, if that’s okay with you. I won’t be able to sleep tonight if I leave you alone. I’ll just stay on the couch if you’d let me.”

“That’s fine with me.”

Makoto had gotten him something to sleep in and sat on the couch with him for a while. He could still see how broken he was just by looking at those tear stained and blood shot eyes. It haunted him nearly as much as the image stuck in his mind of walking in on Makoto cutting himself. He couldn't sleep after that, even when Makoto fell asleep on his shoulder. How could it not keep him up? He knew what the other man was going through probably more than anyone else they knew.

He hugged an arm around Makoto’s shoulder, pulling him into his chest and laying back on the couch, draping a blanket around the two of them. It had been a while since he had felt this uneasy, witnessing something that he wasn’t meant to. He was glad he intervened, who knows how far it could have gotten if he hadn’t showed up? 

He just wanted Makoto to feel safe, to feel like he didn’t have to hurt himself, he thought as his grip on the sleeping man on top of him tightened. He didn’t want anyone to go through that sort of pain and self hate. He knew how hard it was.

Looking down at the sleeping form on top of him, his hard gaze softened, wiping a few stray tears off of Makoto’s face. It was enough for him that Makoto was safe right now, he wouldn’t let go of him until morning. With that as his final thought, he finally allowed himself to close his eyes, knowing that man in his arms was sound asleep. He drifted into sleep sooner or later.

**Author's Note:**

> I have 3 more chapters written so I’m going to attempt to upload every friday if i think you guys are enjoying it, remember to Kudos and comment please:)) 
> 
> if you haven’t already read the original version, DON’T!! You will get spoiled. This versions already shaping out to be leaps and bounds better than the first in my opinion.


End file.
